JOKES

An old Chatsworth Mafia, Don (the dawg) Naidoo (Real name Dhanarajen) is dying and he called his grandson to his bed... "9 boy, now I want u to listen to me nicely, ok. I want you to take my chrome plated 38 revolver so you will always remember me." "But grandpa I really don't like guns and all; what about you leaving me your Rolex watch instead." "You listen to me nicely 9, some day you gonna be running da business, you gonna have a beautiful stekkie for a wife, lotsa money, a big posie and maybe a couple of nine boys too and some day you gonna come to ur posie and maybe find your stekkie in bed with another man. What'chaa gonna do eh, eh? Point to your watch and choon da maamoo "HEY Maadhir - TIME'S UP?"


Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them, "Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up." "Sure," they said, "You're welcome." So they started playing, enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer. Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, "What do you do for a living?" "I'm a hit man," was the reply. "You're joking!" was the response. "No, I'm not," he said, reaching into hisgolf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. "Here are my tools." "That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend, "Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here." So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction Of his house. "Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window. Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha Ha, I can see she's naked!! Wait a minute, that's my neighbour in there with her...... He's naked, too!!! The bitch!" He turned to the hit man, "How much do you charge for a hit?" "I'll do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I Pull the trigger." "Can you do two for me now?" "Sure, what do you want?" "First, shoot my wife; she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth. Then the neighbour, he's a friend of mine, so just shoot his d#ck off to teach him a lesson." The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a Few minutes. Are you going to do it or not?" said the golfer impatiently. "Just be patient," said the hit man calmly, "I think I could save you a grand here....."